When I arrived home from work on Tuesday, our phone was making that little blip noise that lets us know we have a message waiting.
I pushed play and I have to say that my life will never be the same again. One of my dearest friends, someone who I call my spiritual momma was leaving a message about her daughter who has mental handicaps due to birth complications. Sonia was diagnosed with liver and pancreatic cancer this past Sunday. She wantedto leave me a message and let me know, as she was crying softly.
By the time the message was finished playing I was crying too. My heart was broke! Not Sonia the most sweet, loving person I know. Who grew up around my girls, who attended every birthday party faithfully even if we had to scrape the frosting off her cake. She is diabetic. Sonia who my girls taught how to swing on a swing set. Jump on a trampoline. Sonia who has such zeal and is so full of life. Sonia who is so full of love.
As I hit my knees crying out to God, why? And asking Him to strengthen this family and girl. My dh and girls arrived home. They were concerned since I had been crying. I told dh what the phone message said. He was distraught too. I called my friend and her oldest daughter answered the phone. I asked to speak with her mom, but she said she was busy at the moment and she would have her call me back. I told her to try my cell if she couldn’t get me at the house as I had to run Savannah to riding lessons and Madison to sewing lessons.
It wasn’t five minutes and the house phone rang again. It was my friend. We cried together for a while and I said I couldn’t believe it and she told me how they found out and what they were doing. They have given dear, sweet Sonia a short time to live. But, my God is greater. My God is greater than any cancer. My God created Sonia. He can heal her and make her whole. Or…He can take her home to be with Jesus. It is His will not mine. My heart will be empty, my arms will miss those Sonia hugs. I will miss hearing her praise reports and prayers at church. I will miss watching her enjoy her food more than I ever could. I will miss watching my girls play with her. But, I have to trust that the Lord knows more than me. I don’t want Sonia to be in pain, she is too sweet for that. I don’t want to see her suffer, either.
So I hope you will all join me in praying for this family. Pray for strength and grace to make it through this. Pray for healing, pray for God’s will but please pray.
When you get phone messages like this one, I think it is time to stop and ask yourself if you are just too busy for your own good. I think we are too busy that a dear friend of mine had to leave a message such as that on my answering machine. Please forgive me for being busy with much, Lord. That a friend had to leave such a message on my machine. That I wasn’t available for her in her time of need.
Until next time,