The CHRISTmas card arrived back at its original destination on CHRISTmas Eve. My heart sank as I opened the mailbox to recognize the all to familiar CHRISTmas card envelope that I mailed out right after Thanksgiving. Tears filled my eyes as my shaking hand reached into that black box to pull out the card. The black box and the irony of it does not slip my mind as I reach in to pull out the card.
The reason on the big red stamp across the neatly addressed envelope was REFUSED! It was not only in red, but it was in all caps which makes it stand out even more. I could feel my heart rip inside at those words REFUSED. The card was to the sister that I mentioned a few weeks ago on the blog that the doctor’s have given 3 to 6 weeks to live. The card was to the sister that I have a estranged relationship with due to situations and circumstances too lengthy to go into here on the blog. I love my sister. I miss my sister most days. I long for my sister to meet Jesus this side of Heaven and ask Him into her heart. I long to have a reunion with my sister in Heaven. But…. the card was returned, refused. Now what? Seven years without words have pasted. Seven long years of avoidance.
I wonder… if this is how Jesus felt when He came to the Jewish people as a baby in a manger and they rejected Him. He came to them in their temples and in the streets and byways and they rejected Him. They didn’t recognize Him as the Messiah that the Word of God they had with them promised from the very beginning. The rejected, refused and even murdered Him.
I know how I felt the day that the card was returned to me. My hope for reconciliation had been crushed. My hope was dashed against the rocks and I cried big ole’ tears. As I raised my head and heart up to Heaven and asked My Heavenly Father, what I did wrong, He showed me the coming of Jesus from the beginning until the birth in the manger and He said “What did He do wrong?” At that moment, I was totally caught off guard and humbled.
I can’t save my sister. I can’t mend things that are broken. I can extend my hand in love to her, I can pray for her and then I must give it to the Lord and let Him work. If I could save my sister, I would. If I could mend the broken, I would no matter how much humble pie it took. I have extended my hand in love to her and I’ve prayed for mercy, grace and salvation for her. NOW… I am giving my sister to the Lord of all creation. The Lord God Almighty, the Amen. As I continue to pray I will ask to see His mighty power at work in her life. Either way I trust Him completely.
I have to say I am thankful now that, that Christmas card was returned. I am thankful because it caused me to draw closer to God and to see things through His eyes instead of my limited eye sight, instead of through bitterness and a sinful world. I am thankful that He was so close to me at this moment in time that He helped me to see the path that I must walk and that He is going before me. I am saddened though that she sent it back and marked it refused. But, I know God is Able.
Until Next Time,